The full Star Drawers novel is now available in Adobe PDF (Acrobat) format. Buy it now please.
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STAR DRAWERS - copyright © 2004 Fergus
McNeill
parody by Fergus McNeill
It was a time of war. As usual.
Alliance spacecraft, armed only with special effects, have mounted a completely successful kamikaze mission against the evil Establishment. Sadly, the Establishment has not been dissuaded from conquering the entire galaxy and is now virtually unassailable thanks to its not-so-secret weapon the Debt Star, a planet-size space station whose construction had somehow been overlooked by the all-seeing Boogie-Knights, guardians of ordinary folk everywhere.
By good fortune Alliance pick-pockets have managed to steal the wallet of the Establishment’s most sinisterly-dressed villain, Darn Vulgar. Now, unsurprisingly being pursued by him, the beautiful Duchess Lola races for an ATM machine on her home planet, hoping to withdraw enough money to buy new kamikaze pilots, restore freedom to the galaxy, etc.
So begins this parody, following the dramatically changing fortunes of young Nuke Flyswatter, a simple farm boy (even by simple farm boy standards!) as he gets caught up in an unlikely rescue mission to save Duchess Lola and destroy the Debt Star. Hindered and assisted to varying degrees by a pair of robots, an elderly Boogie-Knight, a smooth-talking space pirate and his trusted canine companion, Nuke takes the first steps on an amazing journey… a journey that will take him across the furthest reaches of space towards a thrilling and completely unexpected* climax!
To everyone who’s ever seen Star Wars, may the Farce be with you!
* Okay, the Debt Star does explode but there's a twist, honest!